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The recent headlines about teenagers being charged with sexual assault for sleeping with their girlfriends has made me think that maybe it’s time we change the labels we attach to this behavior.  I’m thinking that sex crimes need to be sorted out into three categories;
violent, conniving, and stupid.

 Violent crime would include rape, kidnapping and assault; things that hurt and damage not only the body, but the soul.  Yes, these people should be locked up, because that is the main purpose of jail. Jail protects the public from people who would harm them.

 Conniving offenses would include things like funny uncles, peeping toms and exhibitionists.  Yes, these people should take the counseling classes offered currently in
jail.  These people are sick, and need a drastic attitude adjustment.

 Stupid crimes are sleeping with an under aged girlfriend, public urination and streaking.  These crimes are caused by making a bad choice or running with the wrong crowd.  Unfortunately, these stupid people have to take the same classes as the psychotic criminals.  That’s stupid.  If it has a different cause, then it needs a different cure.

 The first class stupid offenders need to take is a class on making decisions.  When my son was an electrical engineering student at the University of South Alabama, he took
decision making for engineers.  I read his text book.  It said basically the same thing that my husband studied in managerial analytics for business.  The classes and text
books already exist.  So, instead of making stupid people take psychotic classes, sentence them to taking a class on how to make smart decisions.  Maybe they’ll realize that if it feels too good to be true, it’s probably a bad idea.

 When stupid crimes happen, there’s usually enough blame to throw around in every direction.  Yes, the kid made a bad choice, but some of the blame belongs to stupid parents that didn’t educate their children about nice girl rules. 
Nice girl rules came under attack during the Hippie era and Woodstock, and that free love attitude is still going on in our television shows and movies.  But, our laws
are based on nice girl rules.  Our laws are based on personal responsibility and respect of others.  If you’re not responsible about your freedoms, they will be taken
away.  If you don’t respect other people, they have the right to punish you.  Your rights and freedoms only go to the point where you take a right or freedom away from someone else.  All of these laws boil down to the basic value of being nice.

 So, for the sake of protecting our children from morons and idiots, and reducing the number of stupid teenagers in the world, please take time to teach your children nice girl rules. (even if they are boys.)

 1.       Nice girls save themselves for the right guy.  Kissing is for like, petting is for love, and sex is forever.  If you are not old enough to get married, you are not old enough for
forever.  If forever isn’t going to take place tomorrow, then don’t do that one today. 
If you do it, forever will show up in a way you don’t want it to.  This is a safety rule as much as it is a virtue.

 2.    Nice girls only date nice guys.  A nice guy agrees with rule number one, and doesn’t try to get anything that he hasn’t rightfully earned.  Nice guys do not score.

 3.    If a guy tries to score before he has earned that expression of trust, a nice girl will
break up with him no matter how cute or popular he may be.  Nice girls also break up with boys who tell secrets in the locker room.  This rule comes under the
category of Meathead Management.  If you let one meathead get away with it, the rest
of them will want it, too.

 4.      Nice girls do not hang out in their pajamas when there are strange boys in the
house.  Any boy who is not your brother or father is strange.  This rule also applies to bra straps, slips and panties in public, too.  This is also a form of Meathead Management. 
If you don’t want them to do it, then don’t make them think about it.

 5.   Nice girls do not wear clothing that shows off parts of their body that they don’t
want a stranger to touch.  Respect is something you earn, and just as a soldier respects a uniform, a nice boy will respect a nice outfit.  
6.    Nice girls do not go into a boy’s bedroom. This is a safety rule.  If you stay in the living room, you’ll have enough privacy to talk and kiss, but not enough to do anything immodest.  
7.   Nice girls do not get into bed.  If they lay ON a bed because they are in a dorm
room, and they don’t have any other way to get privacy, they keep their legs crossed at all times.

 8.     Nice girls do not go to hotels.  When ‘Glee’ aired an episode where four teenage couples went to a hotel, they proved that the entire cast of that show is not nice.  Nice girls do not follow the example of people who are not nice.  Nice girls are smart enough to know that just because someone else is doing it does not mean that it is the smart thing to do.

 9.     Nice girls do not make out in public: even if they are protesting Chick-Fal-A’s

 10.  Nice girls do not swear.  If you use the f bomb, boys will automatically assume that you’ve done that before, and it’s OK to ask you to do it again. A swear word is the name of something that ought to be respected, said in a way that does not show respect. 
If you want people to respect you, then use respectable words.
A rule is not a limit on your freedom.  A rule is just a million mistakes written in a sentence.  Rules protect your freedom by keeping you safe.  Rules make things fair.  And
smart people use rules to learn from other people’s mistakes. After all, there isn’t enough time to make all the mistakes yourself.


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